Sunday, December 22, 2024

Hijab Butch Blues

                


Title: Hijab Butch Blues
Author: Lamya H
Published: Dial Press, February 7, 2023
Pages: 305
Genre: Memoir

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight. To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: When Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?

From that moment on, Lamya makes sense of her struggles and triumphs by comparing her experiences with some of the most famous stories in the Quran. She juxtaposes her coming out with Musa liberating his people from the pharoah; asks if Allah, who is neither male nor female, might instead be nonbinary; and, drawing on the faith and hope Nuh needed to construct his ark, begins to build a life of her own—ultimately finding that the answer to her lifelong quest for community and belonging lies in owning her identity as a queer, devout Muslim immigrant.

This searingly intimate memoir in essays, spanning Lamya’s childhood to her arrival in the United States for college through early-adult life in New York City, tells a universal story of courage, trust, and love, celebrating what it means to be a seeker and an architect of one’s own life.

What a beautiful accounting of a life. Not easy. But beautiful. This was a really interesting memoir choice for me. I have previously only read memoirs of celebrities that I connected with their work. So there was an inherent, perceived intimacy in those accountings. This memoir was not like that. I have no context for Lamya H or her story. And Lamya H is a penance, even if I did. It adds some walls to the experience that made this read more like a novel than usual.

The way that she wove stories from the Quran throughout her memoir was beautiful. Her connection to her religion and faith in general was really lovely. And I can understand how that would lead her to make the choice to use a pen name, especially with such a personal work. But if you like memoirs, this is a really good one.

Ratings
Stars: 5/5

No comments:

Post a Comment